Yes, good to hear team Womble is back in one piece. I hope you have a safe trip to Valencia!

RAMSHACKLE RALLY - VALENCIA 2008 - DAY FOUR

An early start back in the car park of the bar we went to last night, and everyone has stopped looking shattered and flicked into 'AutoPilot' - the sense of anticipation is evident, and the goal is in sight.

Todays task is simple..  'What's the Password' and 'What's the Phone Number' ?  (Oh yes, there was another one we missed which was to take a photo of the car somewhere in Valencia but never mind)..

Well, all through the 'Rally Bible' there were letters dotted around in dark green as opposed to the standard black. To the unsuspecting, it could have looked like simple errors or decoration, but we sussed it on the second day.  It said something like 'Find the numbers in the Sodoku and call them'.. So, we did the sudoku (well, Gordon and Martin did.. i've no idea), found the numbers outlined in dots (sly), called the number - and the recorded message told us the rally password was 'Phileas Fogg'

Extra points for scoring his name right, and as a veteran muncher of the same named Tortilla Chips brand i wasn't going to make a mistake !!

We deftly filled in the sheet, and set to work on the task in hand.. getting to Valencia in one piece.. still with no brakes.  That flippin' brake fairy never visited us, even when we all prayed together...  I now only believe in St Kwikfit and will pray to him only in future...

We set off - solo, and Uncle Bulgaria hobbles off towards the Peage, creaking and grinding.. he's getting tired now..

All is going well about half way into our 340 mile journey.  We put on the ipod, listen to rousing tunes to keep us all awake and wonder where the other Ramshacklers are... I think we must have missed the really early bunch but beaten the hangover mob.. So, we stop at our first services.

After fully checking all the levels on the car as we have done ever since we left England (by looking at the bonnet, closed - (pictured) we decide (after a coffee) to get going again.

ooh - look... it's that 5 series BMW with loads of stickers on..  He's a Ramshackler.. let's say Hello!

Nobody in the car..  Nobody to be seen..

We all look at each other, and think the same thing. Mischief.

Now, we know he's sold the car in Valencia - so let's not ruin it. An upside down beer bottle on top of his bullwhip aerial, and a great swathe of our spare Womble fur across his windscreen and we depart giggling off down the exit ramp.

Off back on the Peage, and Gordon texts the Penguins 'Where are you?' 

The 3 Penguins of the Apocolypse text back, and they aren't that far behind.. If we just slow down, they ought to catch us up - so we text them back and say we'll plod for a while.

They text back that they're in a convoy - cool !!

Here's a close up of their bonnet artwork by the way - impressive!  

Now we're travelling a little more slowly, we get more time to take in the scenery around us.  So, we decide that none of us would ever like to stay in this hotel..

Imagine what the receptionist must say when he/she answers the phone!  I would imagine it's been slammed down on them a few times by shocked English folk !!  

I have a story about that!
Remind me after the end of your thread!

9 LEE:

Now we're travelling a little more slowly, we get more time to take in the scenery around us.  So, we decide that none of us would ever like to stay in this hotel..

Imagine what the receptionist must say when he/she answers the phone!  I would imagine it's been slammed down on them a few times by shocked English folk !!  

After what seems an eternity of driving like we are pedalling a car with no engine and getting passed by lorries.. uphill, we eventually spot the convoy!

We manage to identify Team Chavtastic, The Nova Covered in playing cards, The Law, The Camels, The Penguins and it'll be Team Womble making it six.

As we pass the Penguins, they hand us one of their little plastic penguins. Each car in the convoy had been given one - so this was our badge. We duly tied it to our Womble Tail on the roof aerial and we all limped onwards and upwards towards Valencia..

Here's the Nova covered in playing cards passing us.. they 'insulating taped' their penguin to the passenger wing mirror!

About 90 miles to go, and we all agree on another pit stop 'en-masse'.  Now, look at where we are - look at where Team Chavtastic (Red Escort) is, and look at the Camel.. you'll need that for a couple of posts time..

The local 'Guardia Civil' come cruising into the Services after we've been there about 5 minutes, but i really think they couldn't be bothered as they just shrugged their shoulders at each other and trundled off out back onto the motorway..  I'd have done the same, they didn't need the paperwork!

As i said, look at the car positions.. 

Oh, i forgot. The Camels came up with the 'most novel way to 'wear' a penguin'.. Genius - we all laughed...

 

So... looking at the car positions - here's what happened.. in about 4 seconds.

The Penguins pull away, The Law start to reverse. The Camels pull forward to block The Law in. Team Chavtastic set off after the Camels. Team Womble reverse, not seeing The Camels. Team Womble hears a 'Crunch' and sees The Camels front bumper disappear from view, The Camels slam their brakes on, CRASH, Team Chavtastic slam into the rear of The Camels. Gah! - Carnage, and all within a 12 foot square area and in the space of seconds..

Oh... bugger.

Thankfully, absolutely everybody found it hilarious. Insurance details were swapped, and it appears Team Chavtastic are insured by 'Burberry Direct', The Camels are insured by 'Hump & Co' - and the Wombles are insured by 'Uncle Bulgarias Imaginary Insurance Brokers' - I think we'll let them all sort it out later..

After 10 minutes of fancy cable-tying, The Camels are patched up, smiling and we're off again. Sorry about the bumper chaps!

53 miles to go, and we're all getting a little excited now!  

The end is near... (for us, and for poor Uncle Bulgaria too, but we have only spoken of it in hushed tones around him.. <cough>) 

30 miles, 20 miles, 10 miles... 5 miles... the building are getting bigger and we spot the town in the distance..

Oh the excitement, and relief !! - We even start to use the footbrakes out of pure elation, who cares if they sieze now, the handbrakes all but gone and now points vertically when you pull it, the clutch bite point is just below the sun visor - and we have enough for taxi fare from this point onwards..

4 miles.. 3 miles.. 1 miles..

and then... 

... and then we arrive!

We made it to Valencia - we're all alive (well... sort of) - and we've now got to find the hotel.  My word, isn't Valencia busy!!

Now, i'm not quite sure if indicators are banned in Valencia or orange bulbs are in seriously short supply, but to drive here you need to be psychic and have 9 pairs of eyes.  That allied with the fact we have an engine that runs perfectly whilst everything else around it has about 2% of it's working life remaining left us a little stressed whilst following the Tom Tom through streets with high buildings on either side...

There we are, trying to negotiate the Valencia traffic and it's gangs of madmen behind their wheels whilst our Sat Nav does it's special 'crazy dance' because the buildings are blocking the satellites.. Gah!

Eventually, we pull over in a side street somewhere near where the kaliedoscope gyrating Tom Tom display tells us to be, collapse in sheer mental exhaustion, then send Gordon out to look for the hotel on foot. I felt like a cat that had used up 8 lives and really didn't fancy his luck for the ninth.

After a few minutes, Gordon comes back. 'It's just here - 25 yards away!!!'

Oh joy, oh rapture - we have come to our journeys end. See the relief on our faces, and bits of sandwich and crisps probably.

For the final night and awards ceremony, we are to meet at a bar down near the seafront/port area of Valencia. We have arrived at 3.45pm and have a bit of time to explore, so we set off for a look at the modern buildings and to try and buy a new shirt for tonight at one of the shopping malls.. Obviously the F1 Grand Prix has brought revenue in as the place is being worked on everywhere round here. It's stunning..

Like plonkers we forgot our cameras - but here's what we saw.. (these buildings are enormous btw..) 

So, back to the Hotel where the internet is down and i can't do the blog, so it's showered and changed ready to go out. Tomorrow we fly back, so everyone is in the party mood, and we crack open a special bottle of Champagne that Gordon brought !!!

Uncle Bulgaria is fast asleep in a side street, and everyone has finished stroking him.  It's his last night and we're all quite sad as we walk past him on the way to find a taxi down to the party. We romanticise about taking him home, but he's really had it mechanically now.. he's definitely retired due to ill health and not worth repairing. 

More tomorrow on the final night out, the day of the funeral and how our flight home went..  

Lee 

9 LEE:

For the final night and awards ceremony, we are to meet at a bar down near the seafront/port area of Valencia. We have arrived at 3.45pm and have a bit of time to explore, so we set off for a look at the modern buildings and to try and buy a new shirt for tonight at one of the shopping malls.. Obviously the F1 Grand Prix has brought revenue in as the place is being worked on everywhere round here. It's stunning..

Like plonkers we forgot our cameras - but here's what we saw.. (these buildings are enormous btw..) 

Fascinating! 

I've read shorter Tolstoy novels

Did the Butler win???

Dave:

9 LEE:

For the final night and awards ceremony, we are to meet at a bar down near the seafront/port area of Valencia. We have arrived at 3.45pm and have a bit of time to explore, so we set off for a look at the modern buildings and to try and buy a new shirt for tonight at one of the shopping malls.. Obviously the F1 Grand Prix has brought revenue in as the place is being worked on everywhere round here. It's stunning..

Like plonkers we forgot our cameras - but here's what we saw.. (these buildings are enormous btw..) 

Fascinating! 

Hi Dave, if your fascination has something to do with the buildings, I am happy to inform you that these were designed by Santiago Calatrava. Part of the glass facade on the building in Lee's photograph can open up like a giant eyelid.

Fantastic as usual Lee, shame you can't bring the car back with you.

 

Craig

Craig:

shame you can't bring the car back with you.

Craig

Can't? - probably more a case of daren't Craig

Chris.

Okay, i'll put you all out of your misery..

The FINAL episode of the Ramshackle Rally Adventure.  Puncher, are you saying you read Tolstoy then by the way?    

Anyway - here we go..