Todays ‘task’ was called ‘Eurostretcher’

The object of the task was outlined in a previous post, and we had to buy ten items for less than a total of ONE Euro.  Each item must have it’s own printed till receipt too, just to make it harder!

However, no two items were allowed to be the same – and you get bonus points for how much change you still have left from your Euro. So, we hit the supermarket!!

One mushroom  (1 Cent) One grape (1 Cent), A tomato (10 cents), One baby potato (1 cent), 1 baby carrot (1 cent), a bottle of water (18 cents), a box of matches (20 cents), a bag of salt (20 cents) a tiny plum (1 cent) and finally a single haricot bean (1 cent)..

This brought us in at 78 cents, which gave us a total point score of 144 !!

Right – task done – let’s head for San Remo !!!

In one of our brake-related reflective moments, Martin pondered and fell silent…

‘What?’ I said as he stared blankly at me.

‘Why don’t we just clamp the brake hose going to the front right caliper? – That’ll stop it, and we will have braking to the left side!!’

Genius – if you’re into stunt driving or any other form of car-related danger, but it made sense. Sort of...

So, we stop at a service station and buy a pair of small mole grips.  Martin clamps it, I test the brakes – the car stops beautifully with no graunching from the right hand side!!

Martin – you’re a genius and a champion bodger. We salute you..

We’re off again – still being careful, but those blasted brakes have stopped making their 'special noise'. 200 miles left, and we’re happy bunnies.

 

‘What’s that stink?’ comments Gordon, just as I’m starting to look at Martin..  (worriedly, smelling the same smell...)

Oh.

The car starts to slow, the steering goes heavy to the right – we’re on the Autostrada with nowhere to stop.
Think… slow down, limp it along, find somewhere to stop.

Not 500 metres later, over the crest of the hill – a mirage. Well, more a service station – but I know how people lost in the desert must feel when they stumble upon an oasis.

Smoke billowing out of the wheel arch, the wheel trim has melted and deformed. Not good…

So, we wait for 15 minutes to give it a chance to cool down, and Martin unclamps the hose..

POINGGG… the car frees up instantly and rolls backwards. Success!  What we think has happened is that the caliper has let the fluid through, but not returned it - thus clamping on....

Well, we still have a car with no brakes – but we have a moving car with no brakes. Always look on the bright side chaps!!

Absolutely beautiful scenery all the way, from the mountains and lakes leaving Annecy right to the beautiful Med Coast scenery as we approached San Remo. (pictured)

After some very hairy moments on the hairpin bends, dancing on the pedals, stirring the gearbox like a bowl of porridge and some handbrake assisted rolling stops – we arrive in San Remo!

29 Degrees, sunny – and we found our hotel straight away!  Although it brings basic to a whole new level, it’s clean and somewhere to rest our heads!    

After checking in, we took the car to the car park for the night – where (as usual) it attracted heaps of attention. People just stop, stare, point, take photos or honk their horns at us and wave. Brilliant – lovely to see so many people smile!

Here it is after about 45 seconds in the San Remo seafront car park.. Already a small crowd has gathered to stroke it !!!

Off for some food now, and time for me to relax. I drove the whole day today and I’m looking forward to being a passenger tomorrow. We head for Monaco in a convoy (how funny will that be!) – then on to Perpignan, France.

Thanks again for the sponsorships – keep them coming in, and if you are enjoying this thread – please sponsor us, even if it’s one pound !!

Signing out - Lee

Congratulations - though I dare say Jo will be having kittens if she is reading this! Hope your co-drivers are as skilled as you in having no brakes - do the airbags work!

Lee, have to say I am enjoying hearing about your running repairs. Kind of know how you feel, every time I took my old kit car round Donnington something broke. Alway ended up doing some fantastic bodge to get it back home again.

 

 

Craig

Craig:

Lee, have to say I am enjoying hearing about your running repairs. Kind of know how you feel, every time I took my old kit car round Donnington something broke. Alway ended up doing some fantastic bodge to get it back home again.

Craig

I'm amazed he hasn't tried the "shoe on the tyre" method of braking, (made easier in this case by being able to kick through the rotted wheel arches)!  I only hope he took his 70's platform shoes

On the other hand, if they'd taken Tobermory Womble he'd have sorted the brakes in a jiffy!

 

Great thread - keep em coming Lee.

RAMSHACKLE RALLY – DAY THREE

Well, lot’s of people suffering somewhat this morning. Most people are looking like extras from Michael Jackson’s ‘Thriller’ video – but they all look in good spirits and ready for the 8am start..

Last night was, shall we say predictable.  One large outdoor bar, loud music, lots of alcohol, and a ‘closed in the evenings’ swimming pool. Yes, you guessed it – people were leaping over the roped fence around the edge of the pool like thoroughbred racehorses within the hour. Thankfully the bar staff tactfully ignored it, but it could have been due to the fact that about three hundred people were spending money at the bar like it was their last day on earth!

So – day three, and we collect our task sheet as we set off..

Car Snooker

The objective – You must photograph sequences of coloured cars to represent a game of snooker. Each sequence must be made up of three photographs of coloured cars… A white car to represent the cue ball, a red car to represent the red ball and finally a coloured car to represent one of the coloured balls. Once you have sunk 8 reds, you then move through the colours until you reach Pink (the values were changed as there are plenty of black cars) which rounds off the task.

The bonus, worth 50 points is to photograph your car outside the Casino Monte Carlo.  Well, not quite that simple.. you have to photograph the front left side of the car, have the Casino Monte Carlo sign in the background.. plus… have a reflection of the clock tower in the windscreen.. It may be easier to plait fog, but we’ll give it a go.

Monte Carlo here we come… with no brakes.. This is what we have to descend!

After spanking the poor engine to within a hundred revs of it’s life, we descend into Monaco, deftly dancing on the pedals and yanking the handbrake on for the hairpins.. 

All is going well, and we head for the town centre.  Uncle Bulgaria draws more attention than the Ferrari 360 Spyder behind us, and the designer shirted playboy looks decidedly unhappy. Sorry mate – you’ll have to another lap when we’ve gone!

We pull up outside the Casino Monte Carlo along with a couple of other Ramshacklers and set to work trying to find the right angle to get the clock in the windscreen. Forward, backwards, forwards, backwards, sideways, up, down then we get it !!  What a total and utter fluke we found the right spot..  David Bailey - eat our shorts!!

The Police drive past but thankfully don’t stop – I actually think they couldn’t quite believe what they saw so they carried on…

Well - we couldn't not could we...

Bang & Olufsen of Monaco.  

We then park up and head for the Café de Paris opposite the casino and sit having a coffee whilst about 20 Ramshacklers vied for space to take the shot.  Gaggles of tourists and locals were all laughing as Father Christmas jumps out of ‘You must be Crackers’ and shouts ‘Ho Ho Ho’ at the casino doormen and hugs his Elf companion.. You had to be there..

We then decide to skip the Formula 1 lap of Monaco and get going to Perpignan.  I don’t fancy a crashed womble on the hairpin after the tunnel exit, and I doubt the local residents of Monaco would either..

Along the way, lot’s of fun and laughs as cars pass each other, and innocent motorists are treated to some weird and wonderful sights.  Team ‘White Knights’ pass us – in another Mondeo Estate… covered in fur !!!!

The ablution on the top was a proudly stood up horses head, but a day of rain and 1000 miles of wind resistance have rendered it somewhat floppy. It now looks like a horse with narcolepsy and it pops up, thunks down, pops up, thunks down… etc etc

The task is going well, and we’re all desperate to see a Pink car to ‘check out’ and clear our frame of car snooker.  Nothing.. for miles.. and miles.. and miles…

Then, at the Peage, we spot the Holy Grail. A pink Escort Convertible !! Hallelujah !!!!

The car has to be photographed moving though, and she’s about 8 cars behind us.  We pull out of the peage station like an arthritic elephant, and cross our fingers she’ll catch us up.

1km… nothing.. 5km travelled… nothing… gah – she’s turned off somewhere. We’re gutted. Where are we going to find another pink car? No chance…

Martin decides to give it one last roll of the dice and pull over into a rest area and give her time to catch up if she’s around.  We wait, wait some more, but nothing.

Then, out of nowhere, . PINKNESS !!!  Quick, Martin, go go GO !!!!

Poor old Uncle Bulgaria had his second merciless thrashing within 3 hours as we screamed up through the gears.. she’s gaining on us – no, we can’t let her get away.. we can’t give chase as we have no brakes. One shot, that’s all we’ll get.. It feels like that scene on Star Wars with the Death Star…

Quick – focus. NO !! – the camera has turned itself off. Gahh !!  All fingers and thumbs – it’s gaining on us..  Switch it on.. it beeps.. damn – it’s on Play and I’m looking at the previous shot.. flick the switch to take a picture.. yes.. it focuses.. SNAP – GOT IT !!!\

Task complete – we’ve done it. Phew… that was close.

Team 'Life's a Beach' come crawling up behind us.. It looks like the BBQ etc has taken it's toll, as the rear suspension is bouncing up and down like a walrus on a trampoline. Still, they look happy..

I'm loving this, Keep it coming Lee!

Quick stop at the services to fuel up ready for tomorrow, and the Christmas Crackers are already here - i assume stocking up on Mince Pies or something... Bless.

Beach Barbecue at Canet Plage tonight, and I’m really looking forward to it. I used to have a holiday home in Argeles sur Mer when I was younger and it’s just down the road from where we are. Happy memories as I’ve been to where we’re going tonight before – I’m looking forward to it!

A few Ramshackle stories for you too as the ‘Ramshackle Gossip Mill’ gets going..

‘Thunderturd 2’ blew it’s radiatior literally on the starting line in the car park. The owners father then went and bought a new one in England, put it under his arm and caught the ferry across from Dover with it !!  They worked through the night fitting it, and then drove through the night to get to Annecy. Legends.

‘Burt Reynolds Second Hand Quattro Club’ had a very nice 1982 Audi Coupe. I say ‘had’ as they lost it on a bend about 5 hours into the rally, left the road, took a signpost with them, and came to rest parked halfway up a tree.  Their insurance paid for recovery, and they are now doing the rally in a 2008 Renault Clio with Air-Conditioned comfort..  They are all in good health though..

4 teams have retired due to blown head gaskets, we have one seized engine, and finally a blown automatic gearbox. ‘The Jetsons’ 1993 Nissan Micra (three students from Manchester) has just blown up toon - they are currently in the back of ‘3 Penguins of the Apocolypse’ eating chocolate, reading, singing and generally enjoying not having to drive..

‘The Arab Nations’ – eight Essex boys in two old Mercedes (1990 ‘420 SEL’) and a 1991 ‘190E’ are having serious car issues. One has no brakes, but if he travels under 60mph the engine misfires… now theres a dilemma!  The boys in the 190E have stolen bhorats mankini and proudly put it on display on the rear shelf as a trophy. Nice…

No more car news as yet, but I’ll post it as I hear it.

Finally - Gordon promised to give Uncle Bulgaria a great big hug if he got us to Perpignan safely..  He did, and for that got his hug. The image is on my phone and i'm just going to get it.. hang on whilst i upload it to this laptop...
 

Here we are - Gordon mounts the car rather like a hippo would mount a unicycle... and Uncle Bulgaria gets what's coming to him.  The handbrake shoes have whiffed a bit today, and the clutch has seen some action (not forgetting the engine and it's multiple thrashings) - but it's got us here.

I'm signing off now - it's beer and food time. Hope you're enjoying our story, and please don't forget to make a donation to the NSPCC for Team Womble (and BeoWorld) on this link. 

More instalments tomorrow - it's the final leg of the journey.. and all going well, by this time tomorrow... we will be in Valencia!  

 

I'm loving these stories

Good luck mate!
See you tomorrow.

Your stories has got us rolling on the floor laughing. Thank you for posting.

 

We keep our fingers crossed for you!!!!

Well done to our site sponsor, STB Brackets who have donated very generously to the cause. And well done to the crew of Uncle Bulgaria!

Fantastic, well I hope all goes well for the last leg.

 

Craig