At a beautiful outdoor bar near the beach at Valencia, we had the final 'wrap' party and Awards..

Although we had been high up on the leaderboard throughout, we knew we hadn't won - but we knew we'd done okay..  The Sailors in the Mondeo scooped first prize, and Team Womble came a very respectable 5th. Not bad to say there were 97 teams and it was our first rally!

Lot's of alcohol was consumed needless to say, and Martin left early to get some food (having had the word 'kebab' in his head on loop for the last 2 hours). He then ended up walking home, lost, through the streets of Valencia, encountering Valencias equivalent of the Bronx and seeing such delights as 'tramp on tramp muggings' .. 'ladies of the night'.. and various dealers of substances that are commonly found in South American countries.  How he got home in one piece i do not know, but if ever you get lost, very drunk, in Valencia - don't just focus on a random tower and keep walking towards it in a straight line... not good.

As for Gordon.. well, i reckon he had so much alcohol in him he must have been a fire hazard! Still, all i could hear was him laughing, so he was having a good time. I did have to play Daddy and shuffle him out of the bar in the small hours and off home though as it was getting extremely late.. His tolerance for alcohol was starting to get to a point where George Best and Olly Reed might have thrown in the towel had they been alive!

So, we head off back to the hotel. Home tomorrow, and Uncle Bulgaria is going to the great Wimbledon Common in the sky..

Gordon gets up bright and early, fresh as a daisy..  Gah - where's the justice ?!!!

I had about half as much to drink, and i feel like my head has been in a tumble dryer for the last 7 hours and the sleep fairies have had a full refund. Even Martin is fine, but then again a one and a half hour pedestrian tour of Valencia can have a sobering efffect..

All packed now, and we set off to the scrapyard.  About 20 minutes later we find a huge industrial plant, which is where we should be - and there we see them.. Ramshacklers!

We pull up, get our thigs out and do one last final check. We all take a souvenir from the car (i took his nose and the GB sticker) and make sure we've left nothing in there..

We look inside the doorway where we can see the huge car-compactor.. and.. oh my word!

It's half the cars we have been following!  They must have got there early this morning and caught the 9am flight.. Nutters!!!

All stacked nice and neatly ready for 'cubing' 

The crane operator even held this one in the air for us to take a photo.. Poser !! 

He was munching them faster than we could do a bag of crisps though, and he seemed pretty confident. Not the kind of guy you want to box into a parking space!

Alas, poor Shrek..

Team Shrek, cubed faster than you could say 'Donkey'.. I like the GB sticker proudly defiant in defeat though..  

After a few more crushing spectacles, plus arrivals from The Camels and The Law just checking their cars in - the victorious Sailors arrived.

Here they are, basking in their glory...   

Still, even the winning car is going to be scuppered at sea.

Well, more splattered at land - but here it is being driven in for it's last rites from the fuel, oil and water drainage chaps.  Goodbye! 

One thing missing here.. Team Womble's car..

I noticed one of the drivers start the car up, wind down the window and rev the engine. It's a 2.0 DOHC, a very strong and popular Ford engine.. perhaps they wanted it?

Uncle Bulgaria stayed put, and was then quietly moved and parked away from all the other cars. My Spanish is non-existent, so i couldn't ask - but the bonnet was popped and there he sat..

By the time we left, he was still there... We will never know what happened to him. Maybe he's been shaved and put back on the road!

Either way, we said a fond farewell as he sat there..

Now to the airport..

A fairly short taxi ride to the airport, and one rich taxi driver later we decide to have a spot of lunch until check in opens.  After a lovely Paella, it's bags checked in and a nice relaxing shop in the duty free to get the obligatory 'thank you for letting me go away' presents..

All done, Gordon is off somewhere, and Martin and i are sat relaxing.

"Ding Dong"

"Can passenger Lee Marriott on EasyJet flight 5152 please report to a member of EasyJet staff at gate A2"

Eh?

Up i get and totter off over to the lady at the desk with a look of mild bemusement on my face. What have i forgotten to do?

"Please could you come with me sir, there is a problem.." the lady said sternly

"umm.. a problem with what exactly?" i said, now very bemused and slightly affronted

"With your bag, you must come with me downstairs" said the lady, pointing to the exit.

"what's the problem with the bag please?"

"there is something inside it - the Police need to be called"

OH... MY... GOD....  

As i'm walking, my heart starts to race. What if someone has slipped drugs in there, what if someone has planted a gun? I start to imagine being thrown in a Spanish jail, not seeing my children for years, court cases, not being able to carry on the BeoWorld thread.. Well, the last one isn't strictly true, but i was now starting to perspire as Security came to escort me into a small room to wait for the Police.

I waited outside for what seemed like an eternity, and the Police arrived.. My world was about to end. What was in my bag? I really couldn't think what they wanted - it was only my clothes i had packed the night before, plus my toothbrush, deodorant and shaving kit.  Had someone broken into the room and planted something in there?...

"In here please"

I was ushered into a tiny sweltering room..

"Can you open your bag in front of us please" said the lady, and pointed at a large red bag on the table.

"Err, that's not actually my bag"

"Pardon?"

"It's not mine.."

"Look at the tag, it has your name on the ticket sir"

"Nope.. that's not mine" i said, feelings of elation rushing through me like a lottery winner checking all six numbers again.. I'm free, free as a bird, i'm going home, no prison, nothing !!!

Pity the poor guy that's got my tag on his case.. they'd better sort that one out.. 

However.. about 3 seconds later.. it dawned on me... i recognised the bag.

OH... MY... GOD...

It's Gordons..

"I know who it belongs to.." i said reluctantly "It's one of my party"

"Please, we need to speak to him immediately" - and with this they ushered me out and told me to follow them back to the departure gate.

As i'm walking back, i'm now thinking of Gordon not seeing his wife and child, the flights out to visit him in court and so on... I'm also racking my brains thinking how someone might have slipped something in his bag. Did he leave it unattended at the scrapyard, was there anyone in the restaurant that sat near it. I was drawing a blank..

Back to the Terminal, and i take the lady to Gordon..

"This is the man who owns the bag in the room" i hesitantly said

"Please, sir, come with me"

and with that they disappeared to where i had just come from..

I hope that's not it - most folk died in Tolstoy's novels but he still managed to tie all the loose ends together and finish them!

Even jandyt's thread end on an upbeat (could be months later of course)!

Edit : sorry I now realise you are still in mid-type, I shall reserve my wrath until the end of the tale

About 20 minutes later, a very relieved looking Gordon walks towards us from one of the departure gate 'staff only' exits..

"Well - what on earth was it" Martin and myself asked.. "Thank god you're back!"

Gordon went on to explain that at the scrapyard, he had taken a couple of souvenirs of the journey.  Namely, the brand new fire extinguisher and Uncles Bulgarias left electric mirror, which he had neatly packed next to each other in the middle of his bag.

I can only begin to imagine the look of horror on the baggage x-ray scanners face as a cylindrical metal container passes by.. attached to a small motorised device by a trail of wires !!!!  I wouldn't mind betting the 'whoop whoop' button was hit and he jumped under his desk

After a lot of explaining, it transpired the Police had to be present for the bag opening - and it was the fire extinguisher that wasn't allowed on an aeroplane. Uncles Bulgarias wing mirror was compassionately waved through - which was nice of them, destined to be mounted on a plaque as a memento in Gordon's games room.

We're all back together - now let's get home to England! - and quickly please, before anything else happens !!

After a pretty good flight, on time - we arrive in Gatwick. Our adventure is over, we raised a good deal of money for the NSPCC and more yet to come, and we've had an experience we will never forget.

I can honestly say i haven't had that much fun in years, and i will be doing it again next year - this time to Split, Croatia. Matt will be coming along, and he can do the story if you can all bear another!

Thank you to the kind people who have generously donated to our fundraising effort. If you haven't already, and you have stayed alive/awake long enough to reach the end of this thread, please give at least a little - there are children out there whose lives could be made better by what you see as small change.

That's The End  of 9 LEE and The Ramshackle Rally saga.  Until next year...

  





I have to hand it to you Lee. I fear you have knocked me off the top spot for photo' threads!
Thoroughly enjoyed reading every bit of this! I nearly shed a tear at the scrapyard and my heart was in my mouth at the airport.
Thank you so much for sharing this with us, and all for a worthy cause.
You're a star!

Andy T.

Personally I think he faked the whole thing in Beoworld's back yard with a spot of Photoshop to polish it up.

Even so, it's been highly entertaining, thanks for keeping us up to date with Team Wombles exploits - I looked forward to each installment.  Well done!

If you are going to do it next year maybe we could have a thread nearer the time to suggest themes for the car - that could be quite funny.

We could also organise a sweep to guess how many miles into the trip before Matt gets arrested (proceeds to charity of course)

Thanks for the great story, very amusing !

Puncher:

If you are going to do it next year maybe we could have a thread nearer the time to suggest themes for the car - that could be quite funny.

We could also organise a sweep to guess how many miles into the trip before Matt gets arrested (proceeds to charity of course)

What a great idea, Puncher!

Thanks Lee, for what has to be one of the best threads ever. Don't know how I am going to be able to wait 12 months for the next one though.

Craig

Thanks Lee for a fantastic read.

Glad you all survived the trip  in one piece.