The 3rd leg of the capacitor will probably be a tag on the outer capacitor casing to hold it to the board to combat the effects of vibration. You can simply glue the new cap in place before soldering to compensate for this. Boards are usually marked on the solder side with 2 thick lines (within a line showing the track of a capacitor) facing each other, one of which is normally block printed in white - the other being an outline. The block printed side of the symbol is the negative connection.
Chris.
The use of metaphors should be avoided like the plague. They're like a red rag to a bull to me.